emotions and mixed up feeling

I hate to show my feeling to everyone because it hurts so much. My feelings are all messed up and i just stopped caring. I just feel like giving up on the easiest things in life. Well i am at the point of just giving up. But my friends are holding me back. It kills me inside knowing that they know about what is going on in my head. The feelings inside are like HELL. Its inside ME and all I want to do is to kill it.
It seems that my child and husband is the only thing really keeping me going
I didn't trust myself to be alone. I keep weighing the pros and cons, and I know I'm probably too chicken to do it, but I can't fantasizing these days about it... and that scares me..
I sleep through half of the day, but when I get up, I don't feel rested. I still feel tired, and I don't know what to do first, or where to start. I'm not interested in "doing" anything. I have to "force" myself to do anything. I have no desires, except to eat
Food has no taste. My house is getting messy again. My words don't come when I'm trying to talk to someone. I sound like I'm in grade school when I speak. My vocabulary sounds like a second grader. Really.
At least my loving husband is being very patient with me. Thank God.
I just want to get better, but things I've tried just don't work. I find it hard to do any house work anymore, because I cry uncontrollably over nothing, just like a big baby! I hate that, but I CAN'T help it.
its like this one line from a limp bizkit song- "its just one of those days that i dont wanna wake up, everythings f####d, " except that its not "just one of those days"- its each and every day.